Loser Family Builds a Nest- Pregnancy Update (month 9)

An email I sent out to family and friends a month before Corinne was born. I got a lot of positive feedback on this one from all the fellow mom's, and I always did feel like it captured that irrational nesting frenzy of a very pregnant woman and her poor husband.

Hi everyone,

Since Pete and I collectively owe a lot of people emails and phone calls, I decided it would be easier to just send out another update to everyone, even though I feel like there's not much to tell.

Seems like this is the calm before the storm right now. We've both been furiously working to get long withstanding projects finished (or started and then finished, in some cases). We know that life as we know it is ending (yes yes, and a new chapter beginning, blah blah blah, insert "bringing baby into the world, yadda, yadda, best thing you'll ever do, yadda" here) and we won't have time to pick our noses, much less clean the bathroom, once the baby comes. It's amazing how strong the need is to tie up loose ends. My work has benefitted from it the most- I've been trying to organize all my files, documents, training programs, etc to the point of bordering on unhealthy obsession. Partially I want to leave everything in order so that they all realize what a huge mistake it was to let such a wonderfully organized person go (yeah right), and partially it's because I'm putting together a portfolio of all the work that I have done in the past 2 years for these ingrates so I can use it to get my next job.

At home I have organized and cleaned the garage, both cars, and the basement (because you know how much babies hate cluttered basements). I stare hungrily at the attic from time to time, too, but the heat has kept me away from tackling that one. As for the baby's room, I have sorted, folded, refolded and resorted all the cute little outfits, hung some up, sorted them by age, changed my mind and folded them in a drawer. I have rearranged the stuffed animals on the shelves by size, species and color. I have sorted supplies by use (bath, feeding, toys, small items) and placed then in baskets, which I have moved from one location to another, to different parts of the house and then back again. I have arranged and rearranged the curtains, the pillows and the bedding. This past weekend I assembled the swing, stroller, and a night table (which I decided yesterday that I absolutely could not live without). I am so ready for this baby that it is ridiculous. Mice do this quirky thing where they sometimes overgroom each other and themselves as a dominance thing. You can always tell who the dominant one is because he will be the one with all his hair while his cage mates are covered in bald spots. Every once in awhile you will see a mother mouse who has a litter of pups that have been groomed bald except for their scrawny little heads and feet. In this case I think it is more of an obsessive-compulsive thing than a dominance thing. All I can think of is the mother or grandmother who is forever spitting and dabbing at their children's filthy faces. I just hope I get over this frenzy once the baby is born so I don't clean and organize her to the point of baldness, or sort her into a basket by color and size.

Pete is no less guilty. This weekend he single-handedly painted the entire exterior of the house by himself, and then did the garage and shed too, for shits and giggles. Prior to that he rebuilt (and painted) our basement bulkhead and tore down and replaced several dozen shingles on the house. His real obsession, though, is weed whacking. He has waged war against unsightly grass growing in the cracks of the sidewalk and along the flower beds. He goes at them with his giant weed whacker with a vengeance, lest our home look like a "ghetto-house". We must look like a pair of freaks, the big fat preganant lady and the crazy man. Last summer we had a robin who was determined to build a nest in the tree in our front yard, even though she was convinced that her reflection in the window was another bird moving in on her territory. She spent about two weeks attacking the window and flying back and forth with loads of twigs and string that she never could seem to assemble into an actual working nest before she finally just gave up and moved on. We were so amused by her and her mindless behaviors, driven solely by instinct. I suspect that that same bird, who this year, incidentally, has successfully built her nest, laid and hatched her eggs, is now watching us running around cleaning and organizing and sweating and bumping into each other like clowns in a circus, is equally amused by us.

So that about sums up our lives the past few weeks. I don't know what we will do when we run out of projects. Relax while we still can? I doubt it. God forbid the baby comes past the due date, I think I'll go out of my mind. Maybe we'll start a new mural- haha. Or maybe I'll read a few dozen more books on childbirth and parenting. I'm almost up to college-age in terms of child development.

Pregnancy symptoms-wise, I am huge. I am like a giant orb. Soon I will have my own gravitational pull. My ankles resemble those of an elephant, they are so swollen with "fluids". My doctor said there's not much I can do, and to only be concerned if I get headaches and chest pains (like from a stroke???). I am a vision of sexiness. Other than that, though, I thought I'd be feeling much worse right about now. I have developed the pregnant lady shuffle, but I don't feel nearly as heavy and cumbersome as I thought I would. Only four weeks to go (theoretically). I'm convinced that she's going to come late, though. That's just the way my luck goes. As of this Friday I will be to term (37 weeks) and it could safely happen at any time. Ah, dare to dream. I just hope it doesn't happen before I have a chance to organize my photos and rearrange my bedroom. And get started on the handmade birth announcements... And start my baby scrapbook.......

I'll keep everyone posted. Pete will call immediate family once I go into labor, and will email everyone else once she is born, so in the meantime no word just means that there is no news. Assume all is well unless you hear otherwise. Or it could be that we're just too busy flying into windows and grooming each other bald.

Love,
A, P, 7 & (we're not telling!)

Pete's Monster - Pregnancy Update (month 6)

I included this one because of the part about Pete and the monster (which we later began referring to as Uncle Pete's Monster, a title which then took on a life of it's own, as I'm sure you can imagine!)

Hi everyone,

Figured I'd better check in so no one worries that they haven't heard anything from me in awhile. First, thanks to everyone for your comments on the mural. It really is easier than it looks. The pictures are all from clip art that I projected onto the wall. Then it's just a matter of tracing and coloring inside the lines. It was a lot of fun and part of me is sad to be done with it, but now that the weather is getting nicer we don't want to be inside anymore. Time to turn our attention to the yard projects. We need to get our house painted this summer, which has required some reshingling on Pete's part. His dad came over to show him the ropes last weekend. Not a particularly fun project, but necessary. We invested in a paint sprayer, knowing this will need to be done every 5 years or so, so hopefully the project won't be too bad once we get the windows taped off. We're going with the same color so that if we run out of steam it won't look ridiculous. Next time we'll change the color.

Baby is doing fine, although Pete has pointed out that I no longer answer the "how are you feeling" question with "I can't complain". I am definitely starting to feel pregnant. I had some cramping, more unrelievable gas pains, swollen ankles and frequent urination have also been added to my list as of this week. And of course, I'm getting fatter by the minute. I'm measuring right where I should be for the 6th month, so at least I'm not growing a freakishly large baby inside of me. My doctor is on my case about weight gain nonetheless, as I may have mentioned. I gained a lot in March. I did much better in April, but she still isn't satisfied. When I asked her how much I should be gaining per month she only said that my total weight gain should be around 20 pounds, and that I am almost there already. The way I look at it, there's not much I can do to help that now- it's pretty unrealistic to think I won't gain anything in the last trimester, and losing weight is not a healthy option. All I can do is make sure I eat healthy and not have too many desert binges, but I'm sorry- there's no way I'm giving up on sweets completely. I crave them ALL THE TIME (I did have my test for gestational diabetes this week and all seems to be OK. That was a relief. It seems like everyone I talk to who is pregnant has developed diabetes). Pete has been great about packing me healthy lunches and doing lots of fruit smoothies and fruit salads for breakfast. He helps me with my complete lack of will power because he's trying so hard to make sure I'm good, I don't want to disappoint him or negate his efforts. It's just so hard when everyone at work is always encouraging me to eat and bringing me cookies and candy and junk all the time because I'm "eating for two" or because "Baby is hungry". I finally had to tell them to stop because they got me in trouble. I can't say no to sweets, so my only hope is that they are just not available to me.

Let's see, what else is going on... We're looking at cars and hoping to buy one by the end of the month. We're probably going to go with a Subaru Forester. I wanted a snazzy little Honda Accord or something along those lines, but then the reality of parenthood set in. We take Seven with us everywhere, and there wouldn't be room for her in the back seat with Baby and all Baby's accoutrement's. I won't do a minivan- I just can't succumb to that degree of grown-upness just yet. I'm not crazy about the station-wagony feeling of the Subaru's, but I am telling myself that the Forester is more of an SUV than a station wagon. Pete just wants something good on gas, not too big and easy to park (unlike our truck). Then we'll semi-retire the truck, which is starting to show its age and the fact that it has been driven cross-country three times. It's been good to us, but the list of annoying problems with it is getting longer and longer (no A/C, no inside dome light, a gas gauge that always reads full).

This weekend we are helping some friends of ours move (not sure how much help I'll be, and please no lectures on lifting heavy things- I won't do anything stupid). It's supposed to rain all day, so that will suck. It's the same friend who built our deck, so we kind of owe him. We may also register for baby stuff this weekend. We keep procrastinating because it's so overwhelming. We went to a Baby Expo a couple weeks ago and it was the same problem. Too many kids, too many strollers (crowd mowers), just too much. All I kept thinking is "we don't belong here with these people! This is so not US!" Yeah, maybe there's just a little bit of "coming to terms with it all" still going on, at least for me. Whole lotta life changes coming up in the next few months with baby and work (or lack thereof). Mostly I'm excited, though. And a little nervous when I look down at my belly and think "this thing has got to come of of me one way or another. There's no turning back now."

Funny little story about Pete and parenting. Last weekend our neighbors (the one's we refer to as the Loud Family) were out and about chatting with everyone. They have two little girl 3 and 5 or so. I was talking to their mother and the 3 year old kept going inside our house. The mother didn't seem to see anything wrong with this and didn't do anything about it (maybe this is some sort of mother thing that I won't understand until I have a three year old, but for the time being I think it's pretty rude). Pete was not so cool with it either and kept following her in to make sure she wasn't getting into anything (she was even helping herself to our refrigerator). Finally, after the 6th or so time he had to follow her in there, she came haul-assing out of the house crying, followed by Pete who had a funny, somewhat self satisfied smile on his face. She kept saying something about a monster that lives upstairs in our house that was going to eat her. Her mother didn't seem to be amused, saying something about the nightmares she was going to have now. But she didn't go back in again after that. Maybe the tactic was questionable, and maybe we will have unconventional child rearing ideas, but I say the end justifies the means. We managed to raise a pretty well behaved dog. And maybe mom will learn a lesson about curbing her kid. If nothing else, Pete and I sure did have a good laugh over it after they left.

OK, I think I'll wrap this up and get back to work. I am still going at my job as per usual (OK, maybe more like 80% of what I was giving it in effort before I knew I wasn't coming back) and relishing it every time some one needs something and I already have it ready and know exactly where it is and they say how much they'll miss me during my maternity leave. They won't realize how much I did or brought to the table until I'm gone. Ain't it always the way.

Talk to y'all soon,
A, P & 7

PS- no, we still haven't picked out a name. Maybe we'll call her Eight.

Pregnancy Update (month 5)

I thought I'd start off with some e-mails I wrote to family and friends during my pregnancy. This one was written when I was around 5 months pregnant.


Hi everyone,
I'm pretty disgusted with my job right now. I was hoping to come back part-time after my maternity leave, and work 2 1/2 days a week so that the baby would only be in daycare 2 days. I spoke with my boss and she seemed to think it was do-able, but she needed to discuss it with her boss (she's still relatively new here). I didn't hear anything for three weeks so I figured it was a done deal. Well, last week, as I was walking out the door to go on vacation for a week my boss stopped me to tell me that the powers that be have decided that my position needs to be full time so part time was not an option, at least not permanently. I could probably come back part time for a month or two to ease back in but ultimately I'd need to work full time. She told me to think it over. Well, the more I think about it the more angry and hurt I feel. <<Ugh! There was a big long, egotistical, self-pitying tirade here that, frankly, I am too embarassed to post so I deleted it. If you saw it you'd probably never read this blog again because you'd be like, what a whiny bitch! This just proves my point that it's funny to go back and read your thoughts on something after the moment has passed.>> I'll spare you any more of my tirade. The bottom line, then, is that I will be a full time stay at home mom, at least for a little while. I am worried that I am going to go out of my mind. I know I won't be bored, but I won't be "intellectually and creatively challenged". But the prospect of trying to find a new job with a baby is equally scary. I just feel really strongly that I don't want to miss out on watching the baby's first few years, and I don't like the idea of her being raised by strangers in day care. I also don't know how women do it- staying up with a baby all night and then working full time. It's got to be exhausting.

On the pregnancy front, last week I started to feel her kick. At first I wasn't positive but now there's no mistaking it. She kicks a LOT! I can't help but think that if she wasn't in the womb she'd be throwing a fit and screaming every time I feel her. I also started to show pretty noticeably in the period of a week. It's like she doubled in size or something. Maybe it's just because I don't have any full length mirrors in my house, but my friend took a picture of me and I was like, Good Lord, what happened?!! It's hideous! I'm as big around as I am tall (of course, it also looks like I've got twin babies in my rear end, which doesn't help).

So I took all of last week off to work on "Project Baby Room Mural". We're doing an underwater theme. I found really cute bedding and matched the colors to it. The walls are a light sea greenish blue color and then we painted a whale with a baby watching over the crib, an octopus with a treasure chest, a shark (but he's cute, with a fish kissing him), some sting rays, a sea turtle, seahorses and a bunch of fish. I also painted "Ocean Family", which is me as a beautiful and well endowed mermaid holding a baby mermaid, Pete in snorkeling gear, and, the piece de resistance, Seven with a scuba mask. I am very pleased with the way it came out. The rest of the room is a work in progress, as I know I will continue to obsess over it until the day the baby is born (and probably after that. I can see myself rocking her to sleep and fixating over a spot where I painted outside of the lines). We still want to add more fish and coral and shells and all that.

My friend Diane came for the week and helped me paint. She's the one who we did the jungle mural for. Her baby is 6 months old now and really cute. She has flaming red hair and really big eyes and smiles a lot. Seven was fascinated with her. She wouldn't leave her side. She's going to be such a good big sister. I'm glad she's such a good dog. There was a story in the paper yesterday about a 6 day old baby that was mauled by the family dog. How horrible. She is in critical condition. I'm sure she will be scarred for life if she survives. I can't imagine how the parents must feel.

We're completely at a loss for a name. It is so hard. We have a list of about twenty names that we both thought were OK, maybe ten of which are serious contenders. The hard part is that at least one person has hated every one of them. Some were too trendy or too white-trashy or too pretentious or not babyish enough or not adultish enough. It's so hard! The one person who doesn't have a say is the person who has to live with it for the rest of her life. Ultimately it will be up to Pete and I, but it would be nice if we could find something that people like, otherwise every time I see a person I'll think "I know you hate my baby's name". Right now the strongest contender is Corinne. I like it because it's not too common or too trendy or unimaginative or bizarre. Neither of us know or dislike anyone named Corinne, which is also a plus. We're not crazy about the way it kind of rhymes with our last name, so we haven't settled on it 100% yet. Plus my mother doesn't like it, which is a definite strike against it (she says it's too guttural and too grown up sounding). I'm kind of hoping I'll hear the perfect name and be like "that's it!". We had Seven's name picked out before she was born. It was so easy. (We actually really like the name Devon, but because it rhymes with Seven it would be too confusing for both children and would probably give one or both of them a complex).
Well, that's about it here. I'll write again when there's something new to report.
Love A, P, 7 and ???

Here's part of the mural. I look just like the mermaid, only 50 pounds heavier, pregnant, and with smaller boobs. Oh, and I don't have a tail.