Free plug for a good customer. Sign is 6 feet long, hand-lettered. Now I know why sign makers charge so much money.
Finally got around to painting Corinne's "Helping Chair"
Slacker Family Christmas Letter
13 years ago
Showing posts with label murals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label murals. Show all posts
Friday, February 13, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
A Whole Lotta Catching Up to Do
So today I had all these plans to go to Home Depot and Babies R Us and other assorted errands. But then I slept like crap last night and woke up to slippery roads and icy walkways and said, you know what, the hell with this. I made the executive decision to take the whole day off and be completely unproductive. It's Corinne's and Pete's first day back to school/work after the vacation, and while I hardly worked hard during the vacation, we were busy and fairly productive and damn it, I'm pregnant and if I need a day to just lay around, I'm entitled! I honestly don't remember the last day that I had no plans, no places to go, no cookies to bake, no room to paint, no shopping and gift wrapping, no decorating, no toddler entertaining, no cleaning, just a whole day to myself to just waste and not feel guilty like the baby might come tomorrow and then I'll really pay. So here I am. I dropped Corinne off at school, came home and enjoyed a leisurely bagel, then promptly slept on the couch for two hours. Now I'm up and feeling much better and decided that I was long overdue to update the blog. I was going to enter the posts separately and back date them, like they've been written all along and just awaiting a final edit before publishing, but who are we kidding? So here is a summary of the highlights of the past month, all in one lazy, rainy day, half-assed post.
On Pregnancy
I am now in the throes of being "very pregnant". I am 32 weeks pregnant (I think. I can't get over how much less obsessed I am with this pregnancy, to the point where I have actually lost track of what week I'm in, and had to go to the calendar and count backward from my due date. Second child syndrome already. Sorry Apple, I'll make it up to you. I promise to at least take a lot of pictures of you, and your mural is better than your sister's) I am large and bloated and tired. I am not sleeping well at all for any combination of the following reasons on any given night: 1) heartburn- the worst I've ever had. Like, I thought I might be having a heart attack the other night. I had the burning in the throat and occasional burping throw-up into my mouth with Corinne, but this is lower in my chest and not as quickly relieved with Tums. 2) Back pain- something about having a bowling ball in your belly puts a lot of strain on your back when you lay down at night, and "The Wedge", the beloved, passed around from expectant mom to expectant mom triangular pillow just ain't doing the trick this time around. I now sleep with a pillow between my legs, the wedge under my belly, and now sometimes a pillow behind my back. Laying on my back is sometimes more comfortable than my side but as soon as I have two teaspoons of pee in my bladder or any gas in my intestines or any food in my stomach, that doesn't work either. 3) Whistle nose- I HATE when I can hear myself breath. That is why I need the white noise machine at night. Pregnancy is somehow responsible for all one's mucous membranes to soften up, including one's nose. This means snoring that Pete has equated with a chainsaw and that I often wake myself up from. And when I'm already awake due to the above mentioned reasons, my nose is all whistley and stuffy and just really annoying. Here is the pattern that has developed: I fall asleep on the couch around 9 from the shear exhaustion of not sleeping and doing such strenuous things as climbing one set of stairs or getting up from the couch. I can usually fall asleep once in bed (see update on our wonderful new bed below) but I wake up in an hour or two with a back ache. I decide to get up and pee to relieve as much abdominal pressure as possible. In the bathroom I realize my throat is so dry from snoring and I drink more water. Upon returning to bed I spend the next 15 minutes snorting, blowing and sniffing to clear the whistles out of my nose. Ten minutes after settling in, my back hurts again and I begin the turning-over process of shifting pillows and my own large self. Now my nose drains to that side and begins to whistle again. At that point I usually fall asleep, only to wake up almost exactly a half hour later to repeat the whole thing again. Sometimes I end up wide awake, my thoughts jumping here there and everywhere, in which case I have just been getting up and going downstairs to lay on the couch where at least I have back support behind me and where I can let late night episodes of Leave It to Beaver and the Twilight Zone drown out my nose whistle.
Look how big!! (Not sure if that's dust floating around, or spiritual orbs. And yes, now we need new lamps.)
Ode to Freecycle
On the topic of our new bedroom, I just have to give a shout out to Freecycle. If you haven't heard of it, do check it out. I think they're all over the country. For dumpster divers like Pete and myself, it is the best thing since sliced bread. I get daily emails with listings of stuff that people in our area are giving away for free. There's some good stuff, too. My friend has acquired not one but three of those little plastic outdoor playhouses that normally sell for $100 on up (I'm currently waiting on a response about a new-in-box breast pump). There's also some crappy stuff, which I have noticed tends to get snatched up right away. Anyway, I posted the above mentioned 30 year old Montgomery Wards dresser, mirror and night table and immediately got 3 responses. The people who ended up with it came the very same day, helped Pete carry it all downstairs, and told me that their daughter will get another 30 years use out of it. I was happy to see it go to a good home and not a landfill, plus it would have cost us about $20 to have the garbage truck pick it all up. I got rid of our headboard and an old bike the same way. I've had less luck with our old dishwasher, lawn mower and air conditioners, but I'll keep trying.
On Pregnancy
I am now in the throes of being "very pregnant". I am 32 weeks pregnant (I think. I can't get over how much less obsessed I am with this pregnancy, to the point where I have actually lost track of what week I'm in, and had to go to the calendar and count backward from my due date. Second child syndrome already. Sorry Apple, I'll make it up to you. I promise to at least take a lot of pictures of you, and your mural is better than your sister's) I am large and bloated and tired. I am not sleeping well at all for any combination of the following reasons on any given night: 1) heartburn- the worst I've ever had. Like, I thought I might be having a heart attack the other night. I had the burning in the throat and occasional burping throw-up into my mouth with Corinne, but this is lower in my chest and not as quickly relieved with Tums. 2) Back pain- something about having a bowling ball in your belly puts a lot of strain on your back when you lay down at night, and "The Wedge", the beloved, passed around from expectant mom to expectant mom triangular pillow just ain't doing the trick this time around. I now sleep with a pillow between my legs, the wedge under my belly, and now sometimes a pillow behind my back. Laying on my back is sometimes more comfortable than my side but as soon as I have two teaspoons of pee in my bladder or any gas in my intestines or any food in my stomach, that doesn't work either. 3) Whistle nose- I HATE when I can hear myself breath. That is why I need the white noise machine at night. Pregnancy is somehow responsible for all one's mucous membranes to soften up, including one's nose. This means snoring that Pete has equated with a chainsaw and that I often wake myself up from. And when I'm already awake due to the above mentioned reasons, my nose is all whistley and stuffy and just really annoying. Here is the pattern that has developed: I fall asleep on the couch around 9 from the shear exhaustion of not sleeping and doing such strenuous things as climbing one set of stairs or getting up from the couch. I can usually fall asleep once in bed (see update on our wonderful new bed below) but I wake up in an hour or two with a back ache. I decide to get up and pee to relieve as much abdominal pressure as possible. In the bathroom I realize my throat is so dry from snoring and I drink more water. Upon returning to bed I spend the next 15 minutes snorting, blowing and sniffing to clear the whistles out of my nose. Ten minutes after settling in, my back hurts again and I begin the turning-over process of shifting pillows and my own large self. Now my nose drains to that side and begins to whistle again. At that point I usually fall asleep, only to wake up almost exactly a half hour later to repeat the whole thing again. Sometimes I end up wide awake, my thoughts jumping here there and everywhere, in which case I have just been getting up and going downstairs to lay on the couch where at least I have back support behind me and where I can let late night episodes of Leave It to Beaver and the Twilight Zone drown out my nose whistle.
Ode to Our New Bed
I cannot begin to say how much we love our new bed. Prior to this Pete and I, two adults of 6 feet in length and 5 feet, ten inches respectively, shared a full sized bed. And a cheap one, at that. One with a creaky box spring that alerted the whole neighborhood whenever one of us rolled over, and with a mattress that sheets would just not stay on. By morning one whole side of the fitted sheet and mattress pad would be off and bunched up underneath us. I grew to hate this bed and finally convinced Pete that it was likely the root cause of his persistent, medication- resistant insomnia. When one of us was awake and tossing and turning, we both were. And with my pregnancy, that was becoming an every night, most of the night thing. There were a couple nights around 2 am where we practically did rock-scissors-paper over who got to go sleep on the couch.
We decided that for Christmas we would forgo presents to each other and have our parents give us money instead of gifts and put it all toward a new bed. And so we did, and it was one of the best decisions we've made to date. One we're wishing we had made years ago. We went and picked out a king sized bed (in fact, a whole new matching bedroom set, because we're adults with a house and one kid and another on the way and we were still using a hand-me-down bureau and the dresser that I got when I was, I kid you not, five years old from Montgomery Wards. And also the giant bed takes up most of our not-so-big bedroom, so we had to furnish the rest of the room with that in mind.) We got ourselves "sleep tested" and fitted with a fancy mattress and had the whole shebang delivered to our house the week before Christmas. It was effortless, too. We were worried the king size mattress wouldn't fit up our stairs but the movers were pros and got that thing in there in under ten minutes. I got a chance to clean the hell out of our bedroom (with its 6 years of cat and dog hair) just in time for holiday houseguests. Corinne inherited our old bed in place of her toddler bed, which will now serve as our guest bed when needed, and voila, a happy family. I equated our first night in the new bed to be on par with my wedding day and the birth of Corinne. It was that good. It doesn't creak or shake, the sheets stay on, the blankets don't end up all on one side or on the floor and I can go the whole night without ever touching Pete at all, if I so choose. Pete has slept through the night every night since, as I'm sure I will too, once this baby is out of my belly.
I cannot begin to say how much we love our new bed. Prior to this Pete and I, two adults of 6 feet in length and 5 feet, ten inches respectively, shared a full sized bed. And a cheap one, at that. One with a creaky box spring that alerted the whole neighborhood whenever one of us rolled over, and with a mattress that sheets would just not stay on. By morning one whole side of the fitted sheet and mattress pad would be off and bunched up underneath us. I grew to hate this bed and finally convinced Pete that it was likely the root cause of his persistent, medication- resistant insomnia. When one of us was awake and tossing and turning, we both were. And with my pregnancy, that was becoming an every night, most of the night thing. There were a couple nights around 2 am where we practically did rock-scissors-paper over who got to go sleep on the couch.
We decided that for Christmas we would forgo presents to each other and have our parents give us money instead of gifts and put it all toward a new bed. And so we did, and it was one of the best decisions we've made to date. One we're wishing we had made years ago. We went and picked out a king sized bed (in fact, a whole new matching bedroom set, because we're adults with a house and one kid and another on the way and we were still using a hand-me-down bureau and the dresser that I got when I was, I kid you not, five years old from Montgomery Wards. And also the giant bed takes up most of our not-so-big bedroom, so we had to furnish the rest of the room with that in mind.) We got ourselves "sleep tested" and fitted with a fancy mattress and had the whole shebang delivered to our house the week before Christmas. It was effortless, too. We were worried the king size mattress wouldn't fit up our stairs but the movers were pros and got that thing in there in under ten minutes. I got a chance to clean the hell out of our bedroom (with its 6 years of cat and dog hair) just in time for holiday houseguests. Corinne inherited our old bed in place of her toddler bed, which will now serve as our guest bed when needed, and voila, a happy family. I equated our first night in the new bed to be on par with my wedding day and the birth of Corinne. It was that good. It doesn't creak or shake, the sheets stay on, the blankets don't end up all on one side or on the floor and I can go the whole night without ever touching Pete at all, if I so choose. Pete has slept through the night every night since, as I'm sure I will too, once this baby is out of my belly.
Look how big!! (Not sure if that's dust floating around, or spiritual orbs. And yes, now we need new lamps.)Ode to Freecycle
On the topic of our new bedroom, I just have to give a shout out to Freecycle. If you haven't heard of it, do check it out. I think they're all over the country. For dumpster divers like Pete and myself, it is the best thing since sliced bread. I get daily emails with listings of stuff that people in our area are giving away for free. There's some good stuff, too. My friend has acquired not one but three of those little plastic outdoor playhouses that normally sell for $100 on up (I'm currently waiting on a response about a new-in-box breast pump). There's also some crappy stuff, which I have noticed tends to get snatched up right away. Anyway, I posted the above mentioned 30 year old Montgomery Wards dresser, mirror and night table and immediately got 3 responses. The people who ended up with it came the very same day, helped Pete carry it all downstairs, and told me that their daughter will get another 30 years use out of it. I was happy to see it go to a good home and not a landfill, plus it would have cost us about $20 to have the garbage truck pick it all up. I got rid of our headboard and an old bike the same way. I've had less luck with our old dishwasher, lawn mower and air conditioners, but I'll keep trying.
Ding Dong, the Room is Done
At last, Apple's room is finished. The mural is complete (took about 6 weeks, off and on), the closet is finished, the rug is in, the crib had been assembled. If Apple were to come tomorrow, which I really hope she doesn't , at least we're ready. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. 'Nuff said.
(just a reminder of the closet, before)
What I Did for My Christmas Vacation
It seems like Christmas was so long ago, such was the whirlwind of our vacation week.
Corinne was so into Christmas this year. She really gets it now. And as a huge fan of the holiday myself, I was happy to indulge her with all the traditions: excessive decorating; ad nauseum shows, movies, books and music; cookie baking; gingerbread house decorating; card sending; present wrapping; advent calendar opening, etc. We made a total of I think eight different cookie recipes, for a total of about 32 dozen cookies, half of which were given away as Christmas gifts to various people, mailmen and teachers and half which were consumed in the days following Christmas (thank God I tested negative for gestational diabetes!) 
This year Corinne was totally into Herme, the elf from Rudolph who wants to be a dentist. She really digs him for some reason. She has a little stuffed animal of him and he had to stay out once the decorations were packed away. It reminded me of when my sister cried about packing up our plastic light up Frosty when she was five or so (sorry Erin!) I understand, though. It's kind of sad when it's all over. So much build up for one day. Then again, I'm always relieved when it's over, too, and I love having my house back to normal.
Anyway, My family all arrived on Tuesday the 23rd and stayed through Friday the 26th. On Christmas eve we hosted the annual Swedish Smorgasbord for 19 people. This was our third year running the show and Pete and I are starting to get it down pat (except we had a communication breakdown and ended up with no ricegreinsgurt. Sorry Sue!) Corinne did much better opening gifts on Christmas morning this year (it's been too overwhelming for her in the past) and she got lots of great stuff (and not too many presents this year- good job Mimmie and Papa). We got a new Blue Ray DVD player from Auntie Vic, which was great since our DVD player had broken and we were using a little portable car model that only plays at full volume.
The rest of the vacation week we kept ourselves busy. On Tuesday Pete had to go into work, so Corinne and I went to a short ballet demo at our library. Corinne was really good for it, sitting quietly and watching intently. At the end they took questions from the kids. Most asked things like "does it hurt to stand on your toes", or "I like to dress like a ballerina". Corinne surprised me by raising her hand. I asked her what her question was and she said "I like whales because they're so cute!" Hmm, maybe that was her own interpretation of the dancing. Who knows what goes on in that head.
On Wednesday we took the train into Boston to the aquarium and had a good time. We were there for four hours, which is a record for us. Corinne really liked the penguins; I think she could have watched them all day.
New Years Eve Pete and I did the usual- sushi (only cooked ones this year, though. Another pregnancy sacrifice) and Twilight Zones. We were both passed out by 10pm. New Years Day down came all the Christmas stuff, also a tradition. I love Christmas, but once it's over I want it all gone.
On Friday we went to the Ecotarium in Worcester (we had tried to go there on Monday, only to find that it was closed). It was a nice place- we hadn't been there before. It's part zoo, part science museum, part children's museum, and even a little train, which we rode in the freezing cold. Again, Corinne really liked it and we were there most of the day. I think next up will be the children's museum in Boston. We'd been waiting to make sure that Corinne could handle it and it seems like she's ready.
The weekend we spent hanging around and getting some stuff done around the house. Pete organized the basement and took Corinne sledding. It was a productive yet relaxing weekend of quality family time. I love when Pete doesn't have to work.
So that's the last month in a nutshell and now I'm all caught up and can go and chillax again :)
Monday, November 24, 2008
One down...
The grooming shop murals are done, at least until after the holidays, when she may have me do a few more smaller ones. And Apple's mural is nearing completion. All the background and hard stuff is done. Now I just need to put in all the bugs and fun stuff. I see the light at the end of the tunnel...
Monday, November 3, 2008
Bidness
Like the way I snuck those last four posts in there, back-dated so they'd look like they'd been there all along? Yeah, I know, I've been a bit remiss in posting as of late. This is exactly why I was reluctant to start a blog in the first place. It becomes just another thing weighing heavy on your mind, another item on the to-do list. The truth is I've been really busy. Between Halloween stuff and volunteer stuff and just stuff. Also, the "Bouncing Off the Walls" business has been picking up, as it usually does right before Christmas. I've had two craft fairs and another one coming up this weekend. I have a mural pending for a grooming shop, a commissioned chair to paint, two growth charts on deck with the promise of a couple more on the back burner. Part of me is hoping that I don't pick up any new business at this weekend's fair. Don't get me wrong, I love that I'm making some money and I love painting and I won't turn away "bidness". I'm not complaining. I'm just kind of bugging out. Why can't the baby be due in, say May or June? Then I'd be ready. The old nesting instinct is back, stronger than before, and I need things to be done. I need to put some checks on my to-do list. By my calculations I only have November to do the mural for Apple's room because December is crazy with Christmas decorating and shopping and cookie baking and cooking and preparing for a houseful of people. And then it's January and God help me, that's the month before the baby is due (C-section is scheduled for February 23rd, by the way). And watch, this time the baby will come early and I'll end up with a natural birth anyway. And of course there's always the fear that I'll end up on bed rest any day now for some reason and nothing will get done. So I really want to get the mural done, but whenever I work on it I feel like I should be working on the paid projects and it all makes me just want to take a nap. Or eat Halloween candy. On the bright side, I have at least started the baby's room, and so far I'm really pleased with how it looks. This one will be a garden scene, with frog pond and lots of bugs and cutesy-cute and much girlier than Corinne's room. It's part of my sociological experiment called "how much can you shape a kid's personality by surrounding it with a particular genre?" Corinne has a fish room and is obsessed with fish. Will the new baby be a girlie-girl if I give her a girlie room? Will she actually like dolls (which Corinne despises) and doll houses and princesses? Maybe I should paint her room in a "surgeon" theme or a "trial lawyer" theme. But I digress. This post is really just my way of saying I'm still here, I haven't forgotten about my blog or my loyal readers (all 3 of you). Now, I need to stop procrastinating and get back to work!
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Trouble Bubbling Over
This is from an email I wrote to family and friends back in February of 2007. Corinne was 6 months old.
Hi everyone,
Remember me? I am the person formally known as "A", now known only as "Corinne's Mom" (and sometimes "Corinne's bitch"). Seriously, sometimes I feel like that is my only identity, since there are days where it seems like every waking moment is spent either feeding Corinne, entertaining Corinne, cleaning up after Corinne or being concerned about Corinne (more on that later). I have free time today only because Corinne is sick today, and is taking a good long nap. Is it wrong of me to enjoy this? Either way, it will probably take me 3 weeks to complete and send this email. The problem is, when she's napping there are about two thousand things I want or need to do. I don't even like wasting 20 minutes of nap time to take a shower and get dressed, so I've started doing that while she's awake, which means that I now shower with a toddler and a dozen or so tub toys while standing in a tepid pool of what I hope is only shower run off and not pee pee.
I haven't written in so long, I feel like I need to bring people up to speed. Many of you already know all this, but I included you anyway because: Tag, you're it!, Ha ha, now it's your turn to write!
The mural business has been steady, although has moved into the realm of toy boxes, growth charts and other small wooden things. So far most of my clientele have been my friends, but I am starting to get business from some of their friends, too. It's never going to pay the bills, sadly. I was discouraged to quote someone $120 for three painted totes (toy boxes) that I know will take me about a week and a half to do, which comes out to less than minimum wage per hour. Or I can babysit for one day and make the same thing.
Babysitting is the other thing I've been doing. I watch a set of twins who are a little over a year old, one or two days a week. We know them from our playgroup. Taking care of not one but three infants is a challenge, to say the least. (Anyone remember that the person formally known as A also hated kids prior to a mere couple of years ago? At least once a day I look at my life, my house full of toys and baby stuff, my social calender of play dates and cookie baking for the local valentine's day party, my new talent for making my voice sound just like Elmo, and I ask myself "this is not my beautiful life! How did I get here?!") Anyway, the twins are both really good babies, which only makes Corinne's less-than-sweet behavior that much more evident.
The other big thing in our lives right now, for those who don't know, is that Corinne is now enrolled in an Early Intervention program. I could write a novel on why (and no, dad, I'm not going to write a book, so stop asking!), but to summarize, my little angel has some coping and social issues. She's also not using as many words as she should be for her age, but that's less of a concern for us. I think she's just a "late bloomer". The behavioral issues are tough, though, I won't lie to you. Corinne doesn't like lots of things. Things like strange people (not necessarily abnormal at this age, except that this includes pretty much everyone who isn't Pete or I, and some days even Pete is questionable). She especially does not like other kids. If another child comes too close to the "Corinne-personal-space" zone, she bugs out, crying uncontrollably (hey, did I mention that I babysit a set of twins?! ?!). She also has a number of bizarre phobias. It started with beach balls, and then expanded to include rain coats, flags, her winter coat, her shoes, some of her sweaters... I could go on. She usually overcomes the fear after a couple days, but then something else takes it's place. Right now she is terrified of loofah sponges (the meshy kind you use in the shower). Go figure. On top of that, she tends to develop obsessions over other things. For along time it was balls (that one is finally waning), books (seems like a good thing, but it's a wee bit "Rain Man" the way she can flip through book after book after book). So she's a bit of a challenge, to say the least. Some days she is so much fun and so rewarding, and she makes me laugh every day. Other days she just whines and goes from activity to activity, spending about 30 seconds on each one, like she just can't find anything to make her happy. Those days are very, very hard. She has not been officially diagnosed with anything yet, and hopefully she won't be. Hopefully she's just quirky, but the what-ifs can certainly keep you up at night (things like ADD, and autism, for example). I got Pete a book called "The Highly Sensitive Child" and it does seem to describe her to a tee. Some kids, it seems, just have trouble with Sensory Processing, where for whatever reason life just kind of overwhelms them. We both think this is Corinne's issue. Now we just need to figure out how to deal with it.
I think I'm telling you all this so you understand why I wrote so regularly until right about when Corinne came along, and then I fell off the face of the Earth. Raising Corinne is now just a full time job, it's like working two jobs just to make ends meet. Right now I can't imagine how she'll ever go off to preschool and be away from me with other kids all around her. That's what Early Intervention is for. We're working on teaching her how to interact with other people and to make eye contact (something else she doesn't really do) and to start making other sounds besides "Bah!", which was all she said all day long, usually in a very annoyed sounding tone, since she turned one in August until just recently. She now says momma, which is wonderful and music to my ears, and daddah, and Bye (which she says when people come over, about 2 minutes after they get here, like "hey, sorry you can't stay. Ba Bye!") She gets a little better all the time, and mostly I feel optimistic, but sometimes I compare her to other kids her age who are developing "normally" and I get a case of the "why me's, why our baby?" I just wish someone could tell us that she'll be just fine and perfectly normal by the time she's 3 or 10 or as an adult. Then I wouldn't worry so much. But then I see something on TV about babies with cancer or other horrible health problems and I know we are so lucky.
Sorry to be so "heavy". Guess I just needed to vent a bit. Really, overall our lives are wonderful and I don't mean to sound otherwise. I actually started to write this just to jump in on the television discussion (we watch Lost and Survivor, and American Idol is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me). I was thinking how ridiculous it was that I haven't written for months and then I weigh in on TV, of all things. But then this Corinne thing just kind of took over, and 30 minutes and a "Fred-length" email later and here we are. If you've read this far, thanks for listening! And I wrote the whole thing in one sitting! And she's still asleep! (Should I go make sure she's still alive? No! I won't! Just enjoy it, A, and stop obsessing. The scariest thing is how much of ourselves Pete and I see in some of her quirkier behaviors. Poor kid, she never stood a chance!)
OK, on that note I'm signing off. I apologize for any typos. It really does scare me that I can't type a coherent sentence anymore, when I use to write for a living. It's like my brain is atrophying from lack of use. I feel like that book "Flowers for Algernon".
Anyway, there's laundry and dishes and projects to be done. I will try to write more often; it does feel good to be incommunicado again. I'll keep everyone posted and hopefully this too shall pass. I have this fantasy where I say "and then we found out that Corinne's problem was __ and so we did __ and now look at her! You'd never believe how she use to be! And that was a mere __ months ago!! " Oh well, a mom can dream.
Ba Bye for now,
A
Two months later, in April, Corinne was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). I like to think of it as "Autism-Lite". She's not full-blown autistic, but shows many of the characteristics of autism. It's funny because I was very aware, as most parents were in this time of rising autism rates, of the "warning signs", but I don't know. I must have been in denial or I didn't have a good comparison or I was picturing Rainman or something. We just thought she was "intense". Rereading this email now, it seems so obvious to me.
Hi everyone,
Remember me? I am the person formally known as "A", now known only as "Corinne's Mom" (and sometimes "Corinne's bitch"). Seriously, sometimes I feel like that is my only identity, since there are days where it seems like every waking moment is spent either feeding Corinne, entertaining Corinne, cleaning up after Corinne or being concerned about Corinne (more on that later). I have free time today only because Corinne is sick today, and is taking a good long nap. Is it wrong of me to enjoy this? Either way, it will probably take me 3 weeks to complete and send this email. The problem is, when she's napping there are about two thousand things I want or need to do. I don't even like wasting 20 minutes of nap time to take a shower and get dressed, so I've started doing that while she's awake, which means that I now shower with a toddler and a dozen or so tub toys while standing in a tepid pool of what I hope is only shower run off and not pee pee.
I haven't written in so long, I feel like I need to bring people up to speed. Many of you already know all this, but I included you anyway because: Tag, you're it!, Ha ha, now it's your turn to write!
The mural business has been steady, although has moved into the realm of toy boxes, growth charts and other small wooden things. So far most of my clientele have been my friends, but I am starting to get business from some of their friends, too. It's never going to pay the bills, sadly. I was discouraged to quote someone $120 for three painted totes (toy boxes) that I know will take me about a week and a half to do, which comes out to less than minimum wage per hour. Or I can babysit for one day and make the same thing.
Babysitting is the other thing I've been doing. I watch a set of twins who are a little over a year old, one or two days a week. We know them from our playgroup. Taking care of not one but three infants is a challenge, to say the least. (Anyone remember that the person formally known as A also hated kids prior to a mere couple of years ago? At least once a day I look at my life, my house full of toys and baby stuff, my social calender of play dates and cookie baking for the local valentine's day party, my new talent for making my voice sound just like Elmo, and I ask myself "this is not my beautiful life! How did I get here?!") Anyway, the twins are both really good babies, which only makes Corinne's less-than-sweet behavior that much more evident.
The other big thing in our lives right now, for those who don't know, is that Corinne is now enrolled in an Early Intervention program. I could write a novel on why (and no, dad, I'm not going to write a book, so stop asking!), but to summarize, my little angel has some coping and social issues. She's also not using as many words as she should be for her age, but that's less of a concern for us. I think she's just a "late bloomer". The behavioral issues are tough, though, I won't lie to you. Corinne doesn't like lots of things. Things like strange people (not necessarily abnormal at this age, except that this includes pretty much everyone who isn't Pete or I, and some days even Pete is questionable). She especially does not like other kids. If another child comes too close to the "Corinne-personal-space" zone, she bugs out, crying uncontrollably (hey, did I mention that I babysit a set of twins?! ?!). She also has a number of bizarre phobias. It started with beach balls, and then expanded to include rain coats, flags, her winter coat, her shoes, some of her sweaters... I could go on. She usually overcomes the fear after a couple days, but then something else takes it's place. Right now she is terrified of loofah sponges (the meshy kind you use in the shower). Go figure. On top of that, she tends to develop obsessions over other things. For along time it was balls (that one is finally waning), books (seems like a good thing, but it's a wee bit "Rain Man" the way she can flip through book after book after book). So she's a bit of a challenge, to say the least. Some days she is so much fun and so rewarding, and she makes me laugh every day. Other days she just whines and goes from activity to activity, spending about 30 seconds on each one, like she just can't find anything to make her happy. Those days are very, very hard. She has not been officially diagnosed with anything yet, and hopefully she won't be. Hopefully she's just quirky, but the what-ifs can certainly keep you up at night (things like ADD, and autism, for example). I got Pete a book called "The Highly Sensitive Child" and it does seem to describe her to a tee. Some kids, it seems, just have trouble with Sensory Processing, where for whatever reason life just kind of overwhelms them. We both think this is Corinne's issue. Now we just need to figure out how to deal with it.
I think I'm telling you all this so you understand why I wrote so regularly until right about when Corinne came along, and then I fell off the face of the Earth. Raising Corinne is now just a full time job, it's like working two jobs just to make ends meet. Right now I can't imagine how she'll ever go off to preschool and be away from me with other kids all around her. That's what Early Intervention is for. We're working on teaching her how to interact with other people and to make eye contact (something else she doesn't really do) and to start making other sounds besides "Bah!", which was all she said all day long, usually in a very annoyed sounding tone, since she turned one in August until just recently. She now says momma, which is wonderful and music to my ears, and daddah, and Bye (which she says when people come over, about 2 minutes after they get here, like "hey, sorry you can't stay. Ba Bye!") She gets a little better all the time, and mostly I feel optimistic, but sometimes I compare her to other kids her age who are developing "normally" and I get a case of the "why me's, why our baby?" I just wish someone could tell us that she'll be just fine and perfectly normal by the time she's 3 or 10 or as an adult. Then I wouldn't worry so much. But then I see something on TV about babies with cancer or other horrible health problems and I know we are so lucky.
Sorry to be so "heavy". Guess I just needed to vent a bit. Really, overall our lives are wonderful and I don't mean to sound otherwise. I actually started to write this just to jump in on the television discussion (we watch Lost and Survivor, and American Idol is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me). I was thinking how ridiculous it was that I haven't written for months and then I weigh in on TV, of all things. But then this Corinne thing just kind of took over, and 30 minutes and a "Fred-length" email later and here we are. If you've read this far, thanks for listening! And I wrote the whole thing in one sitting! And she's still asleep! (Should I go make sure she's still alive? No! I won't! Just enjoy it, A, and stop obsessing. The scariest thing is how much of ourselves Pete and I see in some of her quirkier behaviors. Poor kid, she never stood a chance!)
OK, on that note I'm signing off. I apologize for any typos. It really does scare me that I can't type a coherent sentence anymore, when I use to write for a living. It's like my brain is atrophying from lack of use. I feel like that book "Flowers for Algernon".
Anyway, there's laundry and dishes and projects to be done. I will try to write more often; it does feel good to be incommunicado again. I'll keep everyone posted and hopefully this too shall pass. I have this fantasy where I say "and then we found out that Corinne's problem was __ and so we did __ and now look at her! You'd never believe how she use to be! And that was a mere __ months ago!! " Oh well, a mom can dream.
Ba Bye for now,
A
Two months later, in April, Corinne was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). I like to think of it as "Autism-Lite". She's not full-blown autistic, but shows many of the characteristics of autism. It's funny because I was very aware, as most parents were in this time of rising autism rates, of the "warning signs", but I don't know. I must have been in denial or I didn't have a good comparison or I was picturing Rainman or something. We just thought she was "intense". Rereading this email now, it seems so obvious to me.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Trouble Brewing- The Emergence of Evil Corinne
An email written to family and friends when Corinne was 6 months old. The pictures I referred to were a series of about 20 photos, each and every one depicting Corinne screaming, crying, or both. Sadly, despite the optimism in the latter part of the e-mail, the era of Evil Corinne was just beginning.
Hi everyone,
Hopefully you all got the last batch of Corinne pictures, which I feel pretty much speak for themselves. First let me start off by saying that she has been 1000% better for the past week, which is why I am now able to calmly sit and write about this with somewhat of a sense of humor. Prior to that I was most definitely not laughing because I sincerely thought that this screaming, humorless, perpetually unhappy banshee was going to be the permanent personality of my demon-spawn daughter. I couldn't remember what it was like to have a nice baby. We uttered phrases like "why did we have kids?!?!" and "are you KIDDING me?!?!" and "you are SO going to be an only child!" and "F--- this!!!" It was definitely the lowest point for me in the 6 months of her existence so far. It started some time after the holidays without warning or obvious cause. She was utterly, positively unbearable. She just cried and cried and screamed and nothing made her happy for long. Her attention span for all those great toys she got for Christmas was all of 10 minutes. Once we had cycled through all the baby stations I was at a loss. She wasn't happy being held for very long either. And the most frustrating thing was that you could tell that she wasn't in pain- she was just PISSED OFF. She has this horrible angry sounding temper tantrum thing that she does where she loses her voice and her face gets all red and her veins in her little bald head all pop out. She is SO stubborn (just like her father- ha ha!). She went to the doctor because we thought she had an ear infection but no, that wasn't it either. We told ourselves that she must be teething because we needed to believe that such behavior had to have a really good reason behind it, and that there would eventually be a light at the end of the tunnel. In retrospect I'm not sure that that was the cause, as she still doesn't have any teeth. I think she was in a downward spiral of overtiredness that had become self-perpetuating. I also think we weren't feeding her enough. We had started her on solids (cereal and we were just getting to vegetables), so it could be that her digestive system wasn't ready. We did it by the book, introducing one new food at a time and giving it a few days to make sure she had no allergic reaction. We still can't say for sure that allergies aren't the problem. To be sure, we cut off all solids all together last weekend and went without for a whole week. The improvement started immediately, but it could be a coincidence or other variables (As people of science we didn't approach this very scientifically. Far too many variables going on at once). I also started feeding her more breast milk and formula to compensate and I started putting her down for a nap after two hours of awake time whether she seemed tired or not. This combination seems to have done the trick because the difference in her demeanor is like night and day. She has started taking longer naps, up to 2 hours, a couple times a day, instead of the "20 minute specials" that she had formerly been a fan of. She also started waking earlier (as early as 6am), but the pay off is that she sleeps through the night. Most importantly, she is my sweet baby again. She smiles and laughs (sometimes- she still kind of has the personality of the little girl from the Addams family- is it Wednesday Addams?) and plays with her toys and can actually amuse herself for short periods of time. I have slowly started her back on cereal again today and am cautiously optimistic. Believe me, I thought long and hard about never feeding her solids, not wanting to do anything to tip the delicate balance that is "Good Corinne". But I figured at some point child services would be after me for neglect and malnutrition if my teenage child had never had anything to eat except formula. Anyway, so far so good. KNOCK ON WOOD!
I feel like there's not much else to report on other than that. It really has been all encompassing in our lives this month. I guess the biggest news is that I am trying to start my own mural painting business. I already have a client. I met a woman at a M*** Family event who was looking for someone to paint a mural for her daughter who is a month older than Corinne (this turned out to be
Corinne and I are flying to Philadelphia to visit my friend Diane and her daughter (who is 1 1/2) next month. I hope I am not tempting the fates taking her on a plane. At least it's only an hour or so flight, in case she cries the whole way (tell that to the people around me- God, I'll be THAT mother!). This is kind of practice for when we fly to Florida in March to visit Pete's mom and go to Universal (a 3 1/2 hour flight- God help us!) Also Pete is going to New Orleans for a conference in the spring (it was planned before the hurricane. I guess the French Quarter is OK for the most part). I have the option of going with him, but we'll see. New Orleans is not really a baby's town, ya know what I mean? And I don't feel right leaving her for 4 or 5 days yet- she's still too young and too needy, not that there's any shortage of willing and able grandparents to babysit.
Some of the aforementioned photos:
Good times, people!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)